How did we get here?

I am struggling today with some pretty major feelings of inadequacy. Who am I to think I can parent 6 children? Who am I to think I can parent 2 more teenage girls that already will struggle with just life in general, especially in a new world? Who am I to think that I am capable to take on extra when I already struggled to handle the 4 I gave birth to? I struggle everyday with feelings of inadequacy as a wife and a mother, but also just as a person. I feel like a failure at most everything I try, why would I suspect this would be any different??

When we were trying to plan for this trip, we assumed that we would be spending most of our time coming and going from the orphanage (one orphanage, not 2). Spending at least some of every day with Olena and getting to know her a little better in an environment that she was comfortable in. We would get to see the REAL Olena. Not the one that was told to be on her best behavior while she was at a strangers home. We were excited to see her after months of waiting. Unfortunately that hasn't been what has happened.
I very much understand that our situation has changed and that because of the new path that we have been led down, it is impossible for us to spend a lot of time at either orphanage. We are, and will be forever grateful to Sasha for all the hard work he has been doing to help our journey go as quickly as possible. But because we aren't able to distract ourselves with spending time with the girls, we (well mostly I) have had way too much time on our hands to sit and think. Thinking can be very dangerous!
Mike and I have asked ourselves, many times already, "How did we get here?" That question always leads me to the ones above. What am I doing? What makes me someone that can possibly take this on? I must be a complete crazy person.
But then I remember that I am not alone. I have a wonderful husband and a family that loves me and supports me in everything I do. I know this will be hard, but I know that with their help, and with the help of my friends, and most importantly with the help of my Heavenly Father, I will be fine.

I know I will make mistakes in the way I attempt to raise these girls, and my other kids. I know that they might not always like me, or the way I do things. I am sure I will embarrass them. I just hope and pray that even after I screw things up, that they will one day look at me know that despite my many faults and many inadequacies as a mother, all I wanted was what was best for them. We may not have the money to offer expensive things but we have a lot of love to give. I hope that they will always recognize that.
I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for this life altering journey we are on, and I am grateful for the soul searching that It has forced me to do. I knew there had to be a lesson somewhere in this ridiculous waiting we are doing! :)