Friday, June 8, 2018

It's time to #bereal.

I listened to a podcast this morning that really made me think.
Why do I (am I am sure that I am not alone) expect so much of myself, yet am so forgiving of others for their imperfection?
On this podcast (Beautiful anonymous. If you haven't listened to it, you should) an English woman spoke about how she felt like the pressure to be the "perfect mother" is exhausting. I completely agree! It is something that is thrown at us all the time through social media. Pintrest is the worst. We see people that seem to have it all together. Pictures of their perfect life are all over their blogs, Facebook and Instagram and any other social media site you look at. There seems to be this standard of perfection that most of us will never be able to live up to, yet we all see it and want it or even expect it. It is exhausting to try and fail all.the.time.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why can't people be real and stop pretending all the time. None of us are perfect. It's okay to just be mediocre. Guess what, its even okay to fail. It's okay that my children aren't straight A students and that they don't participate in every extra curricular activity there is so they can get scholarships to any school they want. That doesn't make me a bad parent!! I am not a bad parent if my kids make their own dinner most nights because I am too busy studying for my nursing classes to make them dinner. I am not a bad parent if I choose to take some time alone and go for a run because nursing school is stressful. I am not a bad parent if my house is not always clean. I am not a bad parent if I let my kids play video games, or if I don't shelter them from every little thing. The fact is, I am a mother that is doing the best she can and so are you! There should be no judgement for that.
I want realness in my life. I need friends that are not afraid to show the bad stuff sometimes. Here is an example of some of my bad stuff for you.
Nastia moved out a while ago because she doesn't like me and refused to follow the rules we have in our home. She wont talk to me unless she is told to or it makes her look good. She has never liked me despite the 5 years I have spent trying to give her a loving home. She couldn't tell you why she doesn't like me and why she treats me horribly, because her brain damage doesn't allow her to understand why she feels that way. She doesn't even realize that the way she treats me hurts my feelings, despite the amount of times I have tried to teach her that. I hate knowing that someone feels this way about me, but that doesn't change it. It just is. I feel like a constant failure because I couldn't get her to like me. My house is never clean, my laundry frequently goes weeks without being washed (luckily I have a lot of clothes), my neighbors don't talk to me because I no longer attend church, I am struggling to keep my grades where I want them, because school is way harder then I ever thought it would be (and I knew it would be hard). We have a lot of debt (which is a huge stress on it's own) because lets be real, I suck at budgeting. I feel like I am missing my kids lives because of how much I study. Being a wife is hard and I feel like I fail at every aspect of it (luckily for me I married the best man around and he sticks it out). I could go on and on.
I am positive that we all have lists like this. At least I hope I am not the only one. Life sucks sometimes. I put on a brave face, live my life and most people would not know the pain I feel inside. I pretend. I just wish I didn't have to. I wish that it wasn't so socially unacceptable to show that you are hurting or that life is hard. Because, maybe, just maybe there wouldn't be so many deeply depressed people, if we felt like we were not alone in our mediocrity.
SO......
Help a mom out. Think about how you represent yourself on your social media platforms. It's great to show successes and share joyous moments. But, maybe put up some not so perfect stuff sometimes as well. A picture of your kids fighting, or your piles of unwashed laundry or dirty dishes. How about a picture of your kids eating cereal for dinner!! But mostly, please just BE REAL. I guarantee there will be people, like me that will thank you for it.