Small Steps

My posts seem to be getting few and far between, but I promise I will continue to keep you updated on our progress and family life.

Life is, well, going along. I am not sure I would say smoothly exactly, but there haven't been any MAJOR problems. We have had some minor upsets, that we can't understand and I am feeling a little nutty most of the time. I can't seem to get caught up on anything, but I am told that is normal no matter how your children came to you. I think we usually, get get the luxury of getting used to it over time. I don't have that. Yes I know, I chose this and I am really fine with it. It is just overwhelming sometimes when I look around at my house and wonder how did the kids wear so many clothes and how and why are they always everywhere!! I am still a roller coaster of emotions most days and I realize that is hard for most people to understand. So if you ask me, I will tell you that things are going okay, and for the most part that is very true. If you choose to dig much deeper than that, you might get cried on! You never can tell what I might be feeling at any given time.     :)

English lessons are coming a long slowly, but we had what felt like a small breakthrough yesterday. Nastia spoke to me in English for the first time and didn't use Olena or a translator device to help her. She spoke slowly and only said a few words, but I was so excited. She first asked me if she could call a friend, Daniel (he is Russian) and then later she spoke to Miranda and asked to use her computer. I nearly jumped out of my skin with excitement! I am hopeful that her enthusiasm for learning will continue this week and she will be able to take some more small steps in her communication. I think if she could communicate better with those around her she would feel a lot more comfortable making friends outside of Miranda and Olena.

We had the privilege of attending the baptism on Saturday of Albina and Alina Truax. They are 2 of the 3 children that were adopted at the same time as my girls by some friends of ours. We had some adversity the morning of the baptism that made us late, but we fought through it and got there just as the girls were done being baptized. I was a little sad that Olena and Nastia didn't get to watch that part of it, but they did get to hear one of the talks in Russian and I am hopeful that they understood the message and felt the spirit that was very strongly present. We are hopeful that when the time comes for them to learn about the gospel properly, they will both be equally as excited as these two girls were at their baptism. I am so happy for the Truax family and their upcoming sealing to their new family members. What a great day that will be.
Olena had a great time visiting with her friend and I loved being able to chat with a fellow adoptive parent and I loved knowing that I am not alone in the everyday trials that come with this journey.

my girls visiting with Alina after baptism

Olena and Alina

My kids, Albina, Alina, the Missionaries and Mariya.

all the kids!

couldn't help but take a picture of our kids

\\

Trying To Turn My Frown Upside Down

Today I feel like crying at the slightest. Ever had that feeling? Well let me explain a little bit about why I think I am feeling this way today!

We have been on an emotional roller coaster for approximately 8 months. I knew at some point it would come to an end and we would all be here together. but for a long time I didn't know when that would be. A few weeks ago I was so excited that the end was in sight and was also excited to have my family and friends come and visit us and meet the girls. Because of this excitement, and the things I needed to do to prepare for their visit, I never really felt like I was off my emotional roller coaster, until now!
Now, everyone is gone. We are home. The girls are here and are ours. I am finally letting it settle in, that this 8 month journey is over and life is starting again. And I am kind of a mess!! It is like when you have waited so long for something to happen, then it comes and goes, and then there is that "what do I do with myself now", kind of feeling. Don't get me wrong, I know all the things I now have to do, and frankly that itself is a little overwhelming. But today I feel a little deflated. A little mopey. (if you haven't figured out yet, I am quite and emotional person!) And I feel like crying at the silliest things.

So I will take a moment to allow myself to feel sad and then I will pick myself up and carry on. There is so much to do, and I have to take the opportunity to do it while I have Mike around to help me out! There is no use in being mopey.
Like Daniel Tosh said who knows when "Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, 'Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.' "
That is so true! :)

All joking aside, I will turn my frown upside down and find my positive attitude because 'A positive outlook on life can reassure happiness when feeling down. Have faith and let your positive attitude be contagious.'
Lets all try it today.  :)

Have a super sparkly day everyone!!!

The Start Of Our New Reality

We have had a fabulous couple of weeks with family and friends visiting, but now comes reality!

Over the last few days we have had to say goodbye to my brother, some friends and my parents. The girls struggled each time we told someone goodbye. Both of them seemed to really enjoy meeting their new family members and were very sad to see them go. I am hopeful that the next time we get to visit with them, the girls will welcome them back with open arms.

Now we get to actually delve into teaching them to speak English. While we had guests we were just allowing them to transition into our home and American life slowly. Now we (mostly me) are going to be sitting down with them every day and actually giving them lessons. 
While Olena is very willing to take the lessons, Nastia is not. I am sure I will have some tough times ahead trying to get this girl to want to learn. While we still feel like the label that was placed on her was inaccurate, there is definitely a difference between the girls in their abilities and their motivation. I am hopeful though, that with some encouragement and love, she will be just fine.

I feel very spoiled having spent almost all of this year with Mike around! He starts his new job next week and I am sad to know that I will be doing a lot of this alone. Both the girls, but especially Nastia, have bonded more easily with him. I am not exactly sure why, and I am a little frustrated about it. I feel like I try just as hard as he does, but my effort doesn't seem to pay off. I am sure there are deep reasons why they feel closer to him. There are probably some issues of abandonment to do with women in their lives that I may never understand fully. So I will just diligently keep trying and hope that it pays of in the end. But, don't be alarmed if occasionally I vent a little on here about how I am struggling. :)

We have been snapping pictures of the girls and their first time doing things as well as fun things we did with our guests. I am hoping to have them uploaded today so I will be able to post them soon.

Baby Steps

This weekend we had the privilege of listening to the Prophet and his apostles speak to us and give us council from the Lord. I always love General Conference weekends. I feel so uplifted and  inspired to do better, but I also feel for a little while, that while I know there are many areas I can and should improve on, there are also many things that the Lord believes I am doing right! This is a difficult concept for me to believe usually, but on conference weekend, I believe that the talks that are given, were specifically written to answer my prayers and help me understand my divine worth in the sight of the Lord. I am grateful for the messages that we were able to participate in and the feeling of the spirit that was in my home.

I had been concerned about how the girls would react and respond to conference. I didn't want to push anything on them, but I also wanted to have them understand that we believe that it is a special event that should be listened to. So as usual, we pulled out a puzzle to do and tried to turn on the TV. It wouldn't work. We have no idea what happened but we couldn't get any channels on the TV to work. So thanks to the power of technology we were able to watch it on the laptop. The first couple of sessions were not a big hit with the girls but by the time Sunday came around they decided to join us. Sunday afternoon, we figured out that there were other languages available to listen to on line, so we set the girls up on the couch with some headphones and my brothers ipad. They were intently listening to the talks given and laughing at the jokes. They participated and looked like they might have even been enjoying it. When it came time to pray they both prayed. Even when the English version was finished, and there was some talking among my other kids, they kept their eyes closed and focused on the words of the prayer, finishing with them both saying Amen. I know that this doesn't sound like much to most of you, but for us it was a huge leap! We obviously have hope that these girls will want to be members of our religion. We would love nothing more than to have them sealed to our family forever. But that is a choice they have to make and we are not going to force it on them. We are just trying to be an example to them. We are just living our religion hoping and praying that they will notice and want to participate. We will love them no matter what they decide, but I cannot express how profoundly my soul was touched with hope, just by watching them willingly participate in a prayer. ( we have been praying with them as a family, but this is the first time I have seen them doing it when no one else was)
I know that this small baby step doesn't mean that they will be jumping into the waters of baptism any time soon, but it is a step in the right direction.

                                                   IT WAS A GOOD DAY!

A Week Full Of Guests

Life has been a little crazy since we arrived home. We have had visitors from all over the world come to stay with us this week.
My parents and brother have come from Australia and we also had friends arrive from England last night. It is so much fun to see everyone and introduce our new family members to their grandparents and one of their Uncles. It seems to be going well, but I am sure that at times they are feeling overwhelmed with all the attention they are receiving. The girls have enjoyed getting to know their new grandparents and it is always fun to turn around and see them giving random hugs to them and smiling while playing a game with them. I am so excited for them to have a loving family around them.
But, with these new people around comes no routine. We had started to get into a morning schedule and chores and things were going really well. Then came spring break and guests and that is all gone. But, I wouldn't trade that for the fun they are having with their Grandparents and Uncle!
I am still struggling to find food for Nastia to eat. Yesterday, with the help of a Russian friend, I asked her about what she would eat and she responded that she just doesn't like to eat! As a mother this obviously concerns me, but I watch her and she seems to find snacks every now and then to eat so I know she isn't starving to death. I just have to allow her to make the choice whether she wants to eat or not. I am sure will tell me when she is hungry. Or my hope is that she will come around once things start to settle down a little.

We had our first little frustration among siblings the other day. Nastia got mad at Miranda and none of us could figure out why. Miranda kept trying to make contact with her and every time, she would be either ignored or physically shrugged off. Even though I knew that it would be coming at some point, it was still hard to watch. I have tried really hard to not treat our new daughters any different to our other children, so I didn't want to let the rudeness that was shown to Miranda go. I pulled Nastia aside and with the help of the translator on my phone (really that thing is a godsend) I told her that I knew she probably didn't mean to be rude to her but that it wasn't ok. She seemed to understand but still wouldn't even be in the same car as her.
Mike took a turn and spoke with her for a while that evening and found out that she was actually mad about the fact that I didn't let her call her brother. The problem was, she hadn't actually asked me to call her brother, which I would have let her do. I don't think that was all that was going on, but that was all he could get out of her. He pointed out to her that the reason for her angriness was not actually Miranda's fault, and she agreed to be nicer. What I think happened was, she had been thinking about calling him and saw Miranda speak with someone on the phone and decided that Miranda was allowed and she wasn't, so decided to not speak with her anymore. She still hasn't asked me to call her brother, but things between the girls are better again.
I am hopeful that as they learn to speak English, these communication issues will become a little easier. But, I am also under no illusion that these teenage girls will argue repeatedly for the rest of their existence! That is the new life I am learning to deal with :)