Boundaries!

It been a rough week and it's only Wednesday! Okay, its really been a lot longer than a week, but whose counting. 

I wanted to share my light bulb moment (not sure if it was the running I just did that turned my brain on but.....) Maybe if I write it for the world to see it might actually stick.

"Q: What if people are doing the best they can?

A: I'll never know whether people are doing the best they can or not. But when I assume people are, IT MAKES MY LIFE BETTER!"

"Generosity is to assume the best about people. Generosity cannot exist without boundaries.

Generosity is an inherently selfish act, because the life you change first is ALWAYS your own.

Empathy minus boundaries is not empathy.
Compassion without boundaries is not genuine.
Vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability.
 

Boundaries are FRICKIN important!

They are not fake walls. They are not separation, They are not division. THEY ARE RESPECT!
Whats okay and whats not okay.

Boundaries are not easy but they are the key to self love, and the key to treating others with loving kindness. 

 These are the notes I took from a video I watched this morning, of an interview with Brene Brown. If you haven't heard of her look her up. (or click the link above) She is amazing and her research is outstanding. I have read her books and watched training videos before, But I really needed to hear what she had to say today. 

What if people (my daughter) are doing the best they can? What if when she tells me she doesn't care about my feelings, because I'm not her mother, that might actually be the best she can do to protect herself at that moment. But, it shouldn't matter if that is really the case or not. I should just assume she is and then i could and would be more compassionate and empathetic. Which in turn would help me to be happier.  My life, or my outlook on life, would change FIRST. And maybe, with my generosity towards her, hers might also change!

But I most definitely need to set boundaries. I am terrible at this. They are hard. They do feel like walls and separation and division.  But apparently, according to her research, Brene Brown says that I need them :)
My new mantra for this week is this:
B. I. G. 

B - What BOUNDARIES need to be in place,

I - to stay in my INTEGRITY,

G - and make the most GENEROUS assumptions about you. 

Boundaries. Who knew?!