I Can Not Fail

I had the privilege of meeting some wonderful young men the other day. They were both adopted from Russia when they were 12 years old. They were from the same orphanage and were best friends. Both boys had sisters, and all of them were adopted with in a year of each other, by the same family. These sibling sets were able to become family. I am so inspired by their story. Their parents apparently adopted 9 children from eastern Europe. They added these 9 children to their already large family. What amazing people.

I am only adopting one and I wonder if I can do it. I am bringing someone I feel is my daughter home. But it's not that simple. I am giving her a new life. A chance to be all that she can be. I am in effect saving her. These boys would have had a very different life, if they were to have stayed in Russia. Olena is no different. She will get to live in this amazing country that is full of opportunities. She will live a full and happy life. I am so glad that I get to be a part of that. But it's a lot of pressure!

As the days pass by and the time gets closer to us traveling, I am becoming a little more scared every day.
I am of course, excited about being able to see Olena again and to finally bring her home to her family, where she belongs. But the more I think about it, the more I worry that I am not what she needs.
The Mr and I discussed this subject last night. I cried to him about how I felt very inadequate as a mother and not prepared to parent an already teenage girl. I feel like I do a terrible job sometimes with the four children I already have and I am constantly worried about how I will be able to teach Olena and help her understand how much we love her. I worry that I wont be able to offer her the things she needs and deserves. I worry that I won't be the example of a mother that she wants or needs and that she will end up hating me.
The Mr's response was, that I don't have to be a perfect parent. I just have to love her and that will be enough. She is alone and we will offer her a family. She will have someone to care about her and be there when life gets hard. He told me that my imperfect mother status is more than enough for our biological kids and it is more than enough for Olena. But I still worry.

My Mum sends me quotes every day. Sometimes they are just words I read but every so often I come across one that is exactly what I need to hear. Today I received this one:

"We are Heavenly Father's children. He wants to be a part of our lives, to bless us, and to help us. He will heal our wounds, dry our tears, and help us along our path to return to His presence. As we look to Him, He will lead us."
Carl B. Cook
It Is Better to Look Up, General Conference, Oct 2011

I know that I can turn to my Heavenly Father and he will help me be the Mother I need to be for Olena. I know that life from here on out will not always be easy. We have taken on a challenge and it is right for me to be worried, but I shouldn't be afraid. My Heavenly Father will lead me where I need to go. He already has! I just need to continue to follow him and trust in him and I will not fail any of my children. I feel so blessed to be able to be a mother and I know that each one of my children is blessing sent to us from a loving Father in Heaven. With him on my side, I can NOT fail.