I Am Thankful

I have been thinking a lot today about the holidays, since tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It is amazing to me how quickly this year has come and gone.
The holidays are kind of a hard time of year for me. Its feels silly even admitting it because I feel like I am a pretty independent person and have done really well since moving to America, away from my very large family. The Mr has no siblings and his dad passed away a few years ago, which leaves his mom and us. He does have a large extended family which I get a long well with, but we only see maybe once a year! During these short family get togethers, I always feel a little out of place. This is no fault of anyone's, but mine. I am uncomfortable inserting myself into his cousins or Aunts and Uncles conversations, and always feel a little like a 5th wheel.  It is during these family functions that I feel like the awkward outsider and start to feel homesick. Silly right!?!
I would love nothing more then to have an opportunity to have a family get together with my side of our family. I would love to sit around the dinner table again with my 9 siblings, their spouses and kids and my parents, and feel like I fit in. But unfortunately that isn't in the cards this year.
I don't mean to sound all grumpy about the holidays, they just seem to remind me of the things I am missing. I generally put aside all thoughts of stuff like that during the year. I do really like where we live and I understand that families live apart and its ok, I would even go as far as to say I like it. I get to be away from the stresses that family can sometimes cause. But the holidays change that a little and make me feel sad. So, for me,  please enjoy the time that you get to spend with your families this year. Enjoy the time it takes to drive or fly to visit them. Enjoy the meal that you get to eat with them. Just take it all in and smile. AND understand that there are some of us that would love to be doing what you are doing and don't get too.

I have also been trying to think of things I am thankful for, not just things that make me feel sad. :)

I am thankful to have a family that loves me. I am thankful to live in a safe place. I am thankful that we are healthy. I am thankful that we are so blessed. I could go on and on. Mostly at the moment I am thankful for this opportunity that we as a family have to change the course of a persons life. But it also changes ours. I have also been thinking about how the dynamic of our family is going to change soon. While I couldn't be more excited about that prospect, this year will be the last time we will spend the holidays just as we are now. After this Christmas, everything changes. What a blessing it is to know that we have not only been blessed with 4 beautiful children biologically, but that we are blessed to have another that we feel is ours, just come to us a different way. So I will spend my holidays enjoying my children and looking forward to the time that we get to bring our new family member home to celebrate her first Thanksgiving and Christmas with us next year.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.