CHANGE IT!

Change It lyrics

Somethin' gotcha down?
Gotcha chained and bound?
Well break it.
If you built a wall
And you know it needs to fall
Then shake it.
Somethin' that you know
Is damin' up the flow
Tear the damn dam down
Let me explain it...
If you don't take the reins
It's gonna stay the same
Nothin's gonna change
If you don't change it!
Something on your mind
is nagging all the time
Well nix it.
Something in your life
Isn't sitting right
Then fix it.
If you've lost your place
Somethin' in your face
All the do-da day
And you can't name it
That feeling in your gut
That's got you in a rut
You're made of better stuff
And you can change it
Change it!
You don't want your little light to never shine!
Change it!
Turn it up on bright and get your
Goals in line...
Let it shine!
There's a great new world out there
For those who care to claim it
A better day is on the way
But only you can
Change it...
Change it...
You can change
Change it...
Change it...
You can change
You can change it!
Come on and make a change!
Change it...
You can change
You can change it...
You can
Change it!
You can change...
Stand up
Grab a-hold
give everything you've got!
When the road is dark and cold
Walk on...
Fearing not...
Get your life in order!
Clean house and rearrange it!
Rearrange it.
Here we are, we've come so far
Committed now
To tear the damn dam down...
And change it!

This song has become my new mantra over the last few months. CHANGE IT!!
That might seem simple to many of you. But, for me, not so much. 

I have felt most of my life that I was stupid and not good enough. Despite being told repeatedly by my husband and friends that that was not the case, there are just some things that are built in. They become your inner CORE beliefs. This is one of mine. Let me explain a little why. 

When I was 15 and in 12th grade at school, I struggled with some health issues. I had to take a few months off school and had some surgery done. When it was time to go back to school I realized I had missed a large amount of preparation work for some very big assignments, that I believed I wouldn't be able to make up, because I was also not the best student. SO I went to my parents and pled my case. I am sure that many 15 year olds would prefer to not have to go to school, I wasn't alone in that wish. But I didn't think it would be so easy! I had been working for a while part time at Safeway, and was told after I had explained how very difficult it would be for me to catch up and how I didn't want to fail (I hate failure), that if I could get more hours at work I didn't have to go back to school! Wahoo a win for the teenager! I was so excited to not have to return to school. I got my full time job and thought life was fabulous.
But as the years went on there has just always been something nagging on my mind and not sitting right. I knew at some point I would need to fix it, CHANGE IT! but I was afraid. Remember I said I hated failure, yep, I still do!

So I took the words of this amazing song to heart because I knew that if I didn't do something to fix it, nothing would change and I would always feel stupid. And with a little encouragement from my friend Samantha (who was also making some life changes) some very motivational words from my brother David (thanks Dave they bought tears!) and my wonderfully supportive husband, I decided to just do it. So I signed up for some online GED (high school equivalency tests) classes to help me study and I just jumped in and set up times for the tests. I really only gave my self about 6 weeks to prepare, which in hindsight was probably not great, but I pushed on. I set goals and I committed. 
There are 4 parts to the test (Language Arts, Math, Science and social studies) that total about 7 hours. I broke it up into 3 weeks. Today I took my last test and I am happy to say that I PASSED!!!  I have a high school diploma. About freaking time. 

Oh, and I thought since I was already in test mode, that I would throw in one more this week. On Tuesday I passed the Kaplan entrance exam for nursing school!! 
I will be starting my BSN September 5th. I am really proud of myself and because I sure grabbed a hold and gave it everything I've got, I am hopeful that I just smashed that core belief I had about myself into a million pieces. 

There's a great new world out thereFor those who care to claim it. 
A better day is on the way, 
because 
I CHANGED IT!!