One Down.....

My morning started out at about 4am today. I got a phone call from home telling me that a toilet had flooded and water was leaking into the basement. Not a big deal, in the grand scheme of things, but still not something you want to happen while you are out of the country.  My brother got in under control, and as far as I know everything is okay, with the exception of some minor (hopefully) refinishing we will  have to do to the ceiling downstairs.

We received a phone call from Sasha at about noon letting us know that we had been given our appointment and we would be meeting with the SDA at 4pm. Oh the relief I felt was amazing. Just to get an appointment felt like a big weight was lifted off us.

We were picked up and went to our meeting and YES we were given referrals for both Olena and her sister Anastasia, who ironically both have the same birthdays, only 1 year apart. I am not sure yet if that is just a clerical thing, but is seems very interesting to me, since it is also my birthday. 

Our plan is to pick up our paperwork tomorrow between 4 and 5pm and then head out to the town that Anastasia is in. We will spend the night there and then begin the process with her before heading down to Ismail to see Olena. The good news is that we should be seeing her this weekend!! I am so relieved and excited and who knows what other feelings all rolled up in one. I might jump for joy!

I know its just a small step, but it is a step FORWARD and that is what we have wanted all this time. I feel so blessed and can't wait to move even further along this journey.

Update

We went with Sasha yesterday to visit with the SDA. He wanted them to see us and explain what was going on, with us there. They told us that they have no influence over the directors decisions and were just waiting for our paperwork to be sent back to them from his office. We were then told that they were hoping for it to arrive any day, and as soon as it does, they will call us and invite us in to meet with them.
The problem is, we still don't know when that will be. We are hoping it will be before Wednesday. If it doesn't arrive by then, we will have to wait again till next Monday. I am not sure how I will handle that!!! I am trying to stay positive, but with each passing day it gets harder.

I know that the Lord knows whats going on. I know he sees us and understands. I am sure that there is a reason for the waiting that we don't fully understand. And maybe for most people it wouldn't seem so bad to be stuck on vacation!! And that is how we are trying to view it. We get this wonderful opportunity to visit a place that most people never get a chance to see. We get to learn about a culture that most people never learn about. I am trying so hard to not be ungrateful for this experience.
Mike and I talked the other day about how lucky we are to be here. To have the opportunity we have to to this wonderful thing. I know that Satan works the hardest to stop the things that are most important. He is trying to do that with us. He is trying to make it so hard that we will want to give up. I was asked the other day, "How long are you going to wait until you decide that it's enough, and come home?" My response was, "We can not walk away from this. We know that Olena is our daughter. We have felt it! We would never walk away and leave our other children, why would we do that to her. Just because things are hard, doesn't make them not right. We will stick it out till the end!"

I think part of the lesson I am supposed to learn is that I am not always meant to be in control of my situation. I can't control what my kids are doing. I can't control what the SDA is doing. I can't control how long I am going to be here. Each one of those things is stressing me out. I think I truly have to turn it over to the Lord. Allow him to take control and just be ok with the outcome. That is REALLY hard.

President Thomas S. Monson said

"Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly....

"My brothers and sisters, there is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today....

"Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know.... We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us"

I am so grateful to know that even though I am thousands of miles away, my children (which is what causes me the most anxiety) are safe and happy. They may not be doing everything I want them to. But, they are safe and being taken care of. I am grateful to my wonderful neighbors and friends that have so willingly stepped up to help out. I am thankful to my mother in law who is there when we need her to be, and will willingly take over when Shaun leaves. I am MOST grateful to my baby brother, who decided to come and visit me before his mission but stayed to help out with taking care of my kids. He is amazing and such a blessing. Thank you Shaun for all of your help. I will always be so grateful to you.

 THANK YOU

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said

Patience is "far more than simply waiting for something to happen--patience require[s] actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results [don't] appear instantly or without effort.

"There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can--working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

During the next few days and weeks, I will continue to try to learn patience. I will try to endure this process well!!  Lets see how well I do :)

A Cold, Cold Saturday

Nothing new to update you on. Its Saturday and its cold. We were told yesterday by Sasha that we should stay inside as much as possible this weekend because it was supposed to be especially cold. So we did just that. I read a whole book (Mrs Peregrines school for peculiar children) which I thoroughly enjoyed, and Mike watch stand up comedy. We spent the day just doing nothing. It was nice, but it was boring a little depressing.

We called our kids who we are missing greatly. They say they miss us but they are mostly too busy to talk to us. My 6 year old was the worst. I was trying to remind him that he needs to shower everyday (apparently he hasn't been doing that since we have been gone) and that he can't wear shorts and t-shirts to school (he has also been doing that). But he just didn't want to listen. So I had to make sure that his siblings and my brother knew the rules again so that they can enforce them!! It was great to speak to them, but it did make me feel homesick for them. I am so frustrated that we just have to sit here. I know there isn't anything we can do. I understand that things are still moving forward, but it is so hard to see others moving faster than us. It just makes me cry.

I had an opportunity to chat with a new friend today. She is also here in Ukraine doing exactly what we are doing, waiting. It helped a little to know that we are not alone, that the SDA forced someone else to wait as well. Luckily for them, they know that their next appointment will be next Wednesday. We still don't know when ours will be. Still praying for it to be on Monday.

We are hoping to be able to attend church tomorrow. Since TJ is no longer with us we plan on trying to find our way back to the Temple, since the international branch meets next door. Wish us luck. 

The Monument to the Motherland

Yesterday, after an emotional day before, we decided we needed to get out of the small apartment and do some more sightseeing. The sun had broken through the dreariness and it seemed, while still cold, to be a really nice day out. So even though we weren't really sure what to go and see, we have seen most of the big sights already, we left the apartment.
We jumped on the metro and decided to try one more time to see the museum underneath the Rodina Mat (the giant lady statue). This would be our 3rd visit to the museum. I told Mike that if it wasn't open today, we just weren't meant to see it!!
Lucky for us, it was!

I am so glad we took the time to come back. It was fascinating!! I decided, while walking around that I truly knew nothing about what really happened during WW2. I studied history and WW2 in high school, and since then it has always fascinated me. I thought I new a lot of things, but I realized that the things they teach in Australia and probably the USA as well, are not the full extent of what happened. It was amazing to me to see the things that they had in this museum. Original hand written letters and documents, Officers clothing and papers with pictures of them, weapons, flags, devices used by the German army to make things out of the bodies of those they killed. It was upsetting and humbling all at the same time. I thought a lot about how truly blessed we are to be born in places that didn't ever experience the horrors that these people experienced. Our countries were part of the war, but we were not taken captive or forced to eat only a single small piece of bread per day, for 900 days, while the Germans tried to starve us out. We never witnessed loved ones being sent off to camps. We never really experienced the horrors that people from this part of the world did. I am so grateful to be born in a time and place that sheltered me from such things. But I think that it would do us all well, to learn what really happened. Knowledge is the key to it never happening again.

decorated Soviet war heros

This was cool. It reminded me of the old TV show that I watched as a kid called 'Hogans Heroes'

Nazi uniform and weapons carried by a soldier

A copy of Hitlers biography 'Mein Kmpf' My struggle.

Nazi clothing

A crashed plane that wasn't found until 1987

Soviet handgun

Pictures of soldiers killed

Flame thrower used by the Nazi army

Old Soviet money and the pilots wallet it was found in

artifacts found with the plane

One of many pictures and clothing of soldiers. If you look closely, this man is wearing the shirt in the picture

This spoon took some bullets

Discarded bombs

This was a buried flag. When the Soviet positions were overrun by the Nazis here in Kiev, the soldiers didn't want to leave the flags behind and didn't want them to be taken and destroyed by the Nazis. So they cut out the battalion numbers and then buried the flags.

Another crashed plane

This is a representation of the amount of food that the people of Leningrad were allowed each day during the 900 day siege of Leningrad. Approximately 800,000 people died due to famine and disease, But the city never fell.  

A glove used by the soldiers. notice the trigger finger is separated!

This is a guillotine that was used by the Nazis, along with a gallows, which you can't really see.

18 million people were forced into camps throughout the world, 12 million were killed. 5.5 million Ukrainians were among them, including 2.5 million Children and young people, that were taken and sent to other place to be used as slaves.

A Nazi stamped bag from the camps

This horrible machine was used to grind up the bones of those killed to be used for fertilizer. They also used the fat from the victims to make soap, and their hair to make clothing.

A hand sewn star of David

More weapons

a printing press and typewriter

A soviet soldier

Old Bombs

If you ever make it to Kiev, please visit this museum. It was amazing.

On the way home we stopped to get groceries and Mike found a funny bottle of Vodka (i know shocking right!) And I think its funny that I have seen more of these than strollers.

They push or pull their kids around on these!

AK47 bottle of vodka

This was a statue we saw on the way to the museum. It is a monument representing Holodomor. It was eerily beautiful.
The term Holodomor refers specifically to the brutal artificial famine imposed by Stalin's regime on Soviet Ukraine and primarily ethnically Ukrainian areas in the Northern Caucasus in 1932-33.
In its broadest sense, it is also used to describe the Ukrainian genocide that began in 1929 with the massive waves of deadly deportations of Ukraine's most successful farmers (kurkuls, or kulaks, in Russian) as well as the deportations and executions of Ukraine's religious, intellectual and cultural leaders, culminating in the devastating forced famine that killed millions more innocent individuals. The genocide in fact continued for several more years with the further destruction of Ukraine's political leadership, the resettlement of Ukraine's depopulated areas with other ethnic groups, the prosecution of those who dared to speak of the famine publicly, and the consistent blatant denial of famine by the Soviet regime.

Still no news on the appointment. We are hoping and praying fervently that it will be on Monday.

I Will Do The Best I Can

It has been 7 days since our appointment and we just found out from Sasha (who is in contact with the SDA all the time) that the earliest that we will get another one is Monday 28th January. We were hoping when we made plans for this trip to be close to being done by that date. But, IF we get our appointment by then we will just be starting out!!

I AM FREAKING OUT!!

We decided to have a day at the apartment and just read and relax. Maybe it was a bad idea! Because all I have been able to think about all day is "WHY hasn't he called yet?" And when he did call to tell us that there was no news and that we probably wouldn't be having our appointment until next week. I broke down! 

I cried and cried. I know it doesn't help to cry about this situation. I completely understand that there is nothing anyone can do to move things along faster. But at this moment, I just feel broken. We have already been away from our family for 10 days (including travel) and we really haven't even started the process yet. I am not sure how much more I can handle. I have made plans for my kids until my brother leaves on February 9th. We had hoped to be back in time to say goodbye to him, (he will leave on his mission soon after he gets back and we wont see him for a long time) and thank him for his help. But, that also looks like it wont happen. I don't know where to turn or what to do next???

 I know the Lord is watching over us. I know that we are being tested for a reason and that Olena is worth the struggle. I also know that there are worse things happening to others we know. We are here in a fabulous country, having a vacation of a life time, So really, I shouldn't complain. It just wasn't meant to be for this long. I don't like having no control over our situation.

So if any of you would be willing to pray for a speedy solution to happen, we would GREATLY appreciate it.  Also I may have to ask for help from some of you with regards to my children. I really don't know what we are going to do with them when my brother leaves. I will keep you posted on what we figure out. Have I mentioned that I hate asking for help?? :)

So I will try and follow this advice and do the best I can!

From VERY Cold To Nice And Toasty

I have tried really hard in the last 6 days to not think about the waiting and focus on trying to enjoy our time in Kiev. We have been to many really cool things and we have spent very little money on anything. We have done well. We have vacationed and waited patiently for our second appointment with the SDA. We had hoped that today we would hear something from Sasha about our appointment, but alas, we have heard nothing. That means that we most likely wont get to see them tomorrow.
I am not sure how much more waiting I can stand.

I got a little emotional this morning after reading another family's blog. They had stories to tell about spending time with their kids, getting to know them and moving their process forward. I just kept thinking "that should be us! We started this process at the same time and now we are just stuck while they are moving forward!"
I could have let myself fall into a depression about it, I almost did. But instead of letting it beat me, we decided to get out and see what other things we could do.

TJ resting

Breakfast of Champions

Mike doing the dishes in our little Kitchen

After a really nice sleep in we headed out in search of a Rinok. IT WAS FREEZING but be decided to brave it anyway. We took the metro and found the huge one that we wanted to visit yesterday. After walking around for a little while and looking at stuff, I couldn't move my hands anymore. They were so cold I almost cried from the pain. We had to step inside the metro to try and warm up a little. Ironically, that is where TJ found his gift for Deb!! After emerging from the warm we realized that a lot of things were more expensive than the mall.  That is not how a rinok is supposed to work! We (really just TJ) ended up speaking to someone that told us that it was in fact the most expensive market around. He told us about another one that happened to be at our metro stop. We have walked past it a hundred times and never noticed it!! So we headed back to look for some souvenirs for our kids and TJ's kids. It was quite the experience trying to haggle in Russian!! We found a couple of cool things, But TJ scored a pair of men's hot pants and an awesome wool coat for $11.

Stores in the first Rynok

This was just a small amount of the books that this man had for sale. We found Pride and Prejudice in Russian for Olena and a children's book for Mike and I to try and read

My hands hurt so badly, I couldn't even get the gloves on properly

This man helped us by telling us to go somewhere else!

Fruits and Jams at the second market

Furs for sale

Fresh spices. They smelled so good

all kinds of stalls and things to choose from

Meat! My favorite was whole chicken with the feet still attached

my new boots. They cost $3.50

We headed back to the apartment to thaw out and then thought it might be fun to try and relax and take our minds off everything by having a swim. I know who would have thought, but you wouldn't believe the cool water park they have on the top floor of the mall across the street.
Since we have been trying to save money, we were worried if we could afford this excursion. But it turns out it only cost us $30 for both of us to spend the day in the park and have a massage and saunas! Oh the saunas were so great. They were toasty warm :)
It was so great to be able to forget about our troubles and get out of the freezing cold and spend some down time in the heat of a sauna!

map of the water park/spa

TJ in his new swimming hot pants (Very European! He fit right in. mike looked like the odd one out)

The sign says Didgeridoo restaurant

The men

The men Kaila-ing

Mike decided to Tebow

Ping pong tables

Not sure why, but  giant spider!

wake board pool

One of the many water slides

We came out of the water park all relaxed and renewed. I know I will feel sad again, especially if the waiting continues for much longer. But just for today, I was able to forget about it and enjoy a cheap date with my husband.

After the pool we headed to the Big train station to drop off TJ. He is headed home.

Last meal before leaving. Cereal.

Getting his big back pack on and checking how it looks with is cool new coat!

navigating the metro

so many people

this restaurant is just outside the big train station. Mike joked that it looks like its called Crap dogs. So now that is its name!

Getting ready to board the sleeper train

the sign on the train says "The black sea" Its going to Odessa. Maybe we will be there too soon!!

Bye TJ. Dosvidanya

We have had a fabulous time having him be here with us. We are so grateful that he was so willing to come to Kiev to help us out and teach us some things. What a great friend. And to his wife Deb, THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for being so willing to sacrifice your husband for a week. It was so helpful to have him here. You are amazing.